1 00:00:00,137 --> 00:00:01,531 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:02,646 --> 00:00:05,012 Sue, get out of my shower! 3 00:00:05,131 --> 00:00:06,094 I'm not gonna wait anymore! 4 00:00:06,161 --> 00:00:07,049 I got to get to work! 5 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:07,993 Can't! 6 00:00:08,094 --> 00:00:11,056 Axl's hogging up our bathroom, and I want to look good today. 7 00:00:11,153 --> 00:00:14,268 Carly and I are gonna try to start a flash mob in the cafeteria. 8 00:00:15,487 --> 00:00:16,532 Ooh. 9 00:00:16,655 --> 00:00:18,202 Someone's gonna sell a car today. 10 00:00:18,313 --> 00:00:21,527 Heh, how about you put some of that hilarious energy into making lunches? 11 00:00:21,632 --> 00:00:22,368 Ugh. 12 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,910 This dishwasher's getting worse. 13 00:00:24,001 --> 00:00:25,976 I think it's actually putting food on. 14 00:00:26,081 --> 00:00:27,686 Uh, mom? 15 00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:28,989 How long have you known about this? 16 00:00:29,107 --> 00:00:30,431 I don't even know what that is. 17 00:00:30,534 --> 00:00:31,668 Why aren't you dressed? 18 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,457 It's some kind of catalog called "Chow Down Chicago," 19 00:00:34,793 --> 00:00:40,129 where you can order food and they'll deliver it to you... from Chicago. 20 00:00:40,281 --> 00:00:41,114 Can I have it? 21 00:00:41,199 --> 00:00:43,230 Sure, whatever. Knock yourself out. Just get dressed. 22 00:00:43,321 --> 00:00:44,154 Thank you. 23 00:00:44,248 --> 00:00:45,657 What did he get? 24 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,780 What did you just give him? 25 00:00:46,877 --> 00:00:48,247 Stupid old catalog. 26 00:00:48,368 --> 00:00:49,602 I want an old catalog. 27 00:00:50,696 --> 00:00:53,199 Axl, what is the matter with you? 28 00:00:53,324 --> 00:00:55,929 We do not put shoes where we serve food. 29 00:00:56,017 --> 00:00:56,532 Hey! 30 00:00:56,607 --> 00:00:57,016 Whoa! 31 00:00:57,108 --> 00:00:57,984 Watch the hat! 32 00:00:58,097 --> 00:01:00,335 I've been working this hat all summer to arrive at the optimum 33 00:01:00,432 --> 00:01:03,853 level of awesomeness-- the shape of the brim, the degree 34 00:01:03,941 --> 00:01:06,997 of fade-age, and look-- it gives me the perfect amount of skull room. 35 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,902 Yeah, that's a waste of space. 36 00:01:08,989 --> 00:01:09,974 Oh, my God. 37 00:01:10,906 --> 00:01:12,114 Let me see that. 38 00:01:13,092 --> 00:01:16,463 Pam Staggs is gonna be on "Wheel Of Fortune"? 39 00:01:16,588 --> 00:01:17,135 Hmm. 40 00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:18,649 How'd she get on the "wheel?" 41 00:01:18,764 --> 00:01:20,795 I know she moved to St. Louis a while ago. 42 00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:22,326 Do you think she went to Hollywood, or did the "Wheel" 43 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,321 come to St. Louis? 44 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:24,558 They do that sometimes. 45 00:01:24,679 --> 00:01:28,304 How'd Pam Staggs I went to high school with get on the "Wheel?" 46 00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:29,450 I'd like to solve the puzzle. 47 00:01:29,541 --> 00:01:30,385 Who cares? 48 00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:31,877 It's the "Wheel," Mike. 49 00:01:31,968 --> 00:01:34,228 She could win a fortune in cash and prizes. 50 00:01:34,324 --> 00:01:35,196 Wow. 51 00:01:35,341 --> 00:01:36,827 Pam Staggs. 52 00:01:37,304 --> 00:01:40,397 She was a cheerleader, always carried a lesportsac. 53 00:01:40,504 --> 00:01:42,187 She had "pong" before anybody. 54 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,536 Ah, "pong." 55 00:01:43,653 --> 00:01:44,686 Okay, everybody? 56 00:01:44,781 --> 00:01:45,354 Listen up. 57 00:01:45,463 --> 00:01:49,289 Tonight I'm rushing home, and between 7:30 and 8:00, that tv is mine. 58 00:01:49,382 --> 00:01:51,695 Don't even think about watching my tv. 59 00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:53,023 Here. 60 00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:54,101 I got to take a shower. 61 00:01:54,173 --> 00:01:57,176 If I'm gonna sneak out an hour early, I can't be more than an hour late. 62 00:01:58,858 --> 00:02:00,026 Holy crap. 63 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:03,863 Pam freaking Staggs is on the "Wheel." 64 00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:08,208 Hey there, frances. 65 00:02:08,325 --> 00:02:09,538 Oh. 66 00:02:09,638 --> 00:02:11,676 I was just getting ready to head out. 67 00:02:11,773 --> 00:02:14,006 I have something I need to-- 68 00:02:14,372 --> 00:02:15,648 Let me ask you something, frances. 69 00:02:15,804 --> 00:02:19,421 Say you're me, and your wife is asking you to go out to dinner 70 00:02:19,525 --> 00:02:21,710 with your brother-in-law you can't stand. 71 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:22,809 You work hard. 72 00:02:22,914 --> 00:02:24,594 Well, not you, frances. 73 00:02:24,706 --> 00:02:26,177 I mean me, in the story. 74 00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:27,745 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 75 00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:30,023 Let me give you the back-story on this guy. 76 00:02:30,305 --> 00:02:33,555 - About 10 years ago... - Tv's mine! 77 00:02:34,093 --> 00:02:36,593 Tell me I didn't miss it, tell me I didn't miss it. 78 00:02:37,186 --> 00:02:39,446 Mom, do we want our wrigley field popcorn bonanza filled 79 00:02:39,570 --> 00:02:41,632 with caramel corn or spicy ranchero? 80 00:02:41,735 --> 00:02:42,446 Shh! 81 00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:43,552 No food talk right now, brick. 82 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:44,113 Okay? 83 00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:46,035 I'm starving, I'm dirty, and I wanna watch the "Wheel." 84 00:02:46,194 --> 00:02:48,561 I'm gonna have to call you back, Carol. 85 00:02:51,383 --> 00:02:51,950 Yes! 86 00:02:52,035 --> 00:02:52,932 Food! 87 00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:53,708 Mmm. 88 00:02:54,429 --> 00:02:55,016 Ohh. 89 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:56,944 Seriously? 90 00:02:57,037 --> 00:02:58,248 I just bought this yesterday. 91 00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:00,258 I just bought this yesterday! 92 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:06,765 Mom. 93 00:03:06,855 --> 00:03:07,501 Shh. 94 00:03:07,602 --> 00:03:08,796 Hang on, Sue. She's about to solve the puzzle. 95 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:09,665 Oh, my God. 96 00:03:09,753 --> 00:03:10,629 Did you just eat that? 97 00:03:11,547 --> 00:03:12,465 Relax. Hmm? 98 00:03:12,561 --> 00:03:13,555 There's hardly any left. 99 00:03:13,663 --> 00:03:17,064 - You know, when I buy the good snacks-- - Axl clipped his toenails in there. 100 00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:19,337 The chip bag. 101 00:03:19,430 --> 00:03:21,339 Axl clipped his toenails in the chip bag! 102 00:03:21,507 --> 00:03:23,761 You just ate Axl's toenails! 103 00:03:23,949 --> 00:03:25,324 I just what? 104 00:03:25,716 --> 00:03:26,752 Aah! 105 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:33,571 Oh, God! 106 00:03:33,668 --> 00:03:34,689 Animal! 107 00:03:34,824 --> 00:03:35,489 What happened? 108 00:03:35,562 --> 00:03:36,266 What's going on? 109 00:03:36,363 --> 00:03:37,331 Mom ate Axl's toenails. 110 00:03:37,428 --> 00:03:39,084 What is wrong with you people?! 111 00:03:39,164 --> 00:03:40,170 Damn it, Axl! 112 00:03:40,852 --> 00:03:41,820 What?! 113 00:03:41,924 --> 00:03:42,791 Mom ate your toenails! 114 00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:44,204 Seriously? 115 00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:47,589 You clip your toenails into a chip bag? 116 00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:48,592 Who does that? 117 00:03:48,679 --> 00:03:49,963 What the hell is the matter with you?! 118 00:03:50,058 --> 00:03:50,740 What?! 119 00:03:50,827 --> 00:03:51,915 You yell at me when I leave 'em on the table. 120 00:03:52,007 --> 00:03:53,737 You yell at me when I leave 'em in the chip bag! 121 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:54,307 God! 122 00:03:54,406 --> 00:03:55,419 There's no pleasing you people! 123 00:03:55,506 --> 00:03:56,068 What's going on? 124 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,894 Mom's wigging out 'cause she ate my toenails. 125 00:03:58,025 --> 00:03:59,324 What? 126 00:04:01,614 --> 00:04:03,899 Axl clipped his toenails into a chip bag, and mom ate 'em. 127 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,821 Stop saying it out loud! 128 00:04:05,921 --> 00:04:06,416 What? 129 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,334 Axl, you what? 130 00:04:07,449 --> 00:04:08,585 It's your fault, Axl. 131 00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:11,157 Why'd you even clip your toenails into a stupid chip bag? 132 00:04:11,268 --> 00:04:12,653 I'm not the one on trial here! 133 00:04:12,742 --> 00:04:14,434 Why don't you ask mom why she ate them? 134 00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:15,079 Yeah. 135 00:04:15,169 --> 00:04:16,262 That's actually a good question. 136 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,243 Oh, I don't know. 137 00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:19,694 Maybe my life was going too well, and I just wanted to feel 138 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:21,060 a little less human. 139 00:04:21,163 --> 00:04:21,833 Ugh! 140 00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:23,226 I can still taste it on my tongue. 141 00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:26,366 You know what might get the taste out? 142 00:04:26,487 --> 00:04:29,190 This Chicago bluesberry cheesecake sampler. 143 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,585 I don't want to hear it! 144 00:04:30,693 --> 00:04:31,919 Okay, all right, everybody calm down. 145 00:04:32,007 --> 00:04:33,309 Axl, apologize to your mother. 146 00:04:33,410 --> 00:04:35,132 Why should I apologize to her? 147 00:04:35,236 --> 00:04:36,901 She ate my toenails one time. 148 00:04:36,996 --> 00:04:38,891 We eat her cooking every day. 149 00:04:42,509 --> 00:04:43,293 I'm not laughing. 150 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,762 This isn't funny. 151 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:48,240 Pam Staggs, you just won a million dollars! 152 00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,307 Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. 153 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,449 A million? 154 00:04:55,859 --> 00:04:56,912 Okay. 155 00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:58,686 I'm leaving. 156 00:05:00,278 --> 00:05:01,485 What? 157 00:05:01,584 --> 00:05:02,272 Dad. 158 00:05:02,373 --> 00:05:03,137 Come on, Frankie. 159 00:05:03,221 --> 00:05:04,228 You heard me. Get out of my way. 160 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,170 I'm leaving. 161 00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:07,219 - Mom... - Come on. 162 00:05:07,309 --> 00:05:08,203 Where you gonna go? 163 00:05:08,326 --> 00:05:10,074 Anywhere but here, that's for sure. 164 00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:10,886 Stop it. 165 00:05:11,007 --> 00:05:11,524 Come on. 166 00:05:11,613 --> 00:05:12,692 What-- what are you doing? 167 00:05:12,822 --> 00:05:14,013 Everybody's sorry. 168 00:05:14,109 --> 00:05:15,371 Very, very sorry. 169 00:05:15,488 --> 00:05:16,308 Good to hear. 170 00:05:16,421 --> 00:05:17,471 Still going. 171 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,157 You know, I don't know where I'm going, but I will tell you this. 172 00:05:21,269 --> 00:05:26,201 There are gonna be some major changes around here-- Major changes. 173 00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:27,825 - Frankie... - Major... 174 00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,485 Changes. 175 00:05:34,117 --> 00:05:35,091 Oh, my God. 176 00:05:35,231 --> 00:05:36,474 Mom left. 177 00:05:36,571 --> 00:05:37,724 She left. 178 00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:38,762 What just happened here? 179 00:05:38,919 --> 00:05:39,604 I don't know. 180 00:05:39,703 --> 00:05:41,077 Mom ate some toenails and took off. 181 00:05:41,171 --> 00:05:42,239 Who knows what her problem is? 182 00:05:42,362 --> 00:05:43,529 Can she do that? 183 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,329 Dad, is she allowed to do that? 184 00:05:45,436 --> 00:05:46,964 Look, your mom's had an experience. 185 00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:51,348 She's obviously feeling something here, and she probably just needs to cool off 186 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,393 a little. 187 00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:53,533 And we're just gonna let her go? 188 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:54,699 Oh, my God. 189 00:05:54,804 --> 00:05:56,356 Why are we just standing here? 190 00:05:56,469 --> 00:05:58,415 We need to go find her and bring her back. 191 00:05:58,541 --> 00:05:59,311 Mom's gone. 192 00:05:59,432 --> 00:06:00,674 She's gone. 193 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:03,134 Our mother is gone! 194 00:06:03,242 --> 00:06:04,253 She's not gone. 195 00:06:04,372 --> 00:06:06,094 She's only got 12 bucks in her purse. 196 00:06:06,197 --> 00:06:07,533 She can't get very far. 197 00:06:07,996 --> 00:06:09,040 Actually, $10. 198 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:09,913 $8. 199 00:06:10,015 --> 00:06:11,098 $6.50. 200 00:06:11,227 --> 00:06:12,482 I want her back. 201 00:06:12,598 --> 00:06:14,459 I don't want to be a broken home. 202 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,509 Oh, God. 203 00:06:17,487 --> 00:06:19,075 Oh, man. 204 00:06:19,848 --> 00:06:21,170 I think she took my hat. 205 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:23,657 - Axl... - No, this is really bad. 206 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,509 I think when she was stuffing things in her bag, she got my 207 00:06:25,615 --> 00:06:26,826 hat in there by accident. 208 00:06:26,935 --> 00:06:28,822 We have to go find it. 209 00:06:28,916 --> 00:06:31,362 What if she puts it on her bumpy mom head and stretches it all out? 210 00:06:31,463 --> 00:06:34,540 No, what you gotta do is take some time to think about what 211 00:06:34,629 --> 00:06:37,132 we did as a family that caused this. 212 00:06:37,258 --> 00:06:38,849 Mom said "major changes." 213 00:06:38,967 --> 00:06:42,204 Go to your room and you figure out what kind of major changes 214 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:45,092 you all need to make, and I'm gonna do the same. 215 00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:54,955 Do you think she's ever gonna come back? 216 00:06:55,098 --> 00:06:56,285 I don't know, brick. 217 00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:00,600 'Cause I was thinking maybe we can get the family sausage pack now. 218 00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:03,096 I was worried 'cause it's only for four, but now with an even number... 219 00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:06,281 Brick, shut up about your stupid catalog and start thinking about my hat. 220 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:08,788 Shut up about your stupid hat and your stupid catalog and 221 00:07:08,891 --> 00:07:10,123 start thinking about mom. 222 00:07:10,235 --> 00:07:12,564 Did you notice any strange behaviour before this? 223 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,116 Did mom seem unhappy? 224 00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:14,696 Pfft! 225 00:07:14,797 --> 00:07:15,248 How should I know? 226 00:07:15,354 --> 00:07:16,211 She's a mom. 227 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,313 I don't pay that much attention to her. 228 00:07:17,426 --> 00:07:18,859 Well, then maybe that's the problem. 229 00:07:18,941 --> 00:07:20,768 Maybe we don't pay enough attention to her. 230 00:07:20,882 --> 00:07:23,038 Did she seem especially angry lately? 231 00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:25,143 No, just her regular amount of angry. 232 00:07:26,095 --> 00:07:27,513 Well, then what is it? 233 00:07:27,638 --> 00:07:29,482 Dad said it's up to us to figure this out. 234 00:07:32,028 --> 00:07:33,137 This is hard. 235 00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:35,063 I've never thought of mom as a person before. 236 00:07:37,378 --> 00:07:43,322 all by myself 237 00:07:44,284 --> 00:07:50,546 don't wanna be all by myself 238 00:07:51,814 --> 00:07:54,608 Well, we've been thinking, and we've come up with some ideas, 239 00:07:54,732 --> 00:07:56,789 you know, for changes and stuff? 240 00:07:57,827 --> 00:07:58,747 Well, good. Good. 241 00:07:58,856 --> 00:08:00,456 Yeah, I've been doing that, too. 242 00:08:01,289 --> 00:08:03,726 We think we might need to change her food. 243 00:08:03,861 --> 00:08:06,597 You know, their dietary needs do change as they get older. 244 00:08:06,714 --> 00:08:08,871 She's not a dog. 245 00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:10,658 Or maybe a multivitamin or something. 246 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,503 She might need more iron. 247 00:08:12,614 --> 00:08:13,519 That's it? 248 00:08:13,616 --> 00:08:14,866 That's what you came up with? 249 00:08:15,004 --> 00:08:16,477 That it's your mom's fault? 250 00:08:16,624 --> 00:08:17,397 No. 251 00:08:18,295 --> 00:08:19,238 We do have another theory. 252 00:08:19,339 --> 00:08:21,932 How are things going in the boudoir, dad? 253 00:08:22,026 --> 00:08:23,367 You getting the job done in there? 254 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,491 Wow. 255 00:08:25,593 --> 00:08:26,998 The old man moves pretty fast. 256 00:08:28,023 --> 00:08:33,385 So after three hours, I ended up back where I started-- Home. 257 00:08:34,517 --> 00:08:35,315 Mom. 258 00:08:35,395 --> 00:08:36,921 Oh. 259 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,117 Don't you see? 260 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:44,402 This is everything! 261 00:08:44,531 --> 00:08:48,799 My life is forever going to be defined as before toenail and after. 262 00:08:48,926 --> 00:08:51,082 "BT" and "AT," baby. 263 00:08:51,199 --> 00:08:53,240 How do you go on after something like this? 264 00:08:53,335 --> 00:08:54,730 What are you supposed to do? 265 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,121 - Well... - Well? 266 00:08:58,518 --> 00:08:59,002 Ha! 267 00:08:59,106 --> 00:08:59,905 You're stumped. 268 00:08:59,994 --> 00:09:01,076 You don't have an answer. 269 00:09:01,193 --> 00:09:02,462 Not like Pam. 270 00:09:02,587 --> 00:09:03,665 She had an answer. 271 00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:05,789 She only had a "p" and an "r," 272 00:09:05,884 --> 00:09:07,729 and she got "pardon my French," 273 00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:10,135 - and now she's got a million dollars and I get-- - Wait. 274 00:09:10,398 --> 00:09:10,912 What? 275 00:09:11,095 --> 00:09:11,873 Who has a million dollars? 276 00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,976 Pam, mom! 277 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,252 Pam Staggs! 278 00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:17,391 Pam Staggs was on the "Wheel?" 279 00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:19,264 Well, she was always so bubbly. 280 00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:21,112 They just like that type on the show. 281 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,171 Is that good? 282 00:09:22,339 --> 00:09:24,893 I mean, she wasn't even that smart, right? 283 00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:25,955 Mnh-mnh. 284 00:09:26,126 --> 00:09:28,846 She was just pretty, and now she's smart and pretty, and 285 00:09:28,972 --> 00:09:34,448 she's driving a new Ford fiesta, and I'm bellying up to the toenail buffet! 286 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,549 Ohh. 287 00:09:39,382 --> 00:09:42,983 Look at you, little ballerina. 288 00:09:43,281 --> 00:09:46,840 You think you're gonna be a prima ballerina in your little outfit, don't you? 289 00:09:46,982 --> 00:09:47,792 But you're not. 290 00:09:47,973 --> 00:09:50,323 Let me give you a piece of advice-- Don't even bother 291 00:09:50,445 --> 00:09:53,022 growing in those two front teeth, 'cause someday in your future... 292 00:09:54,234 --> 00:09:57,343 You're just gonna use 'em to eat toenails. 293 00:09:57,485 --> 00:09:59,082 Okay! 294 00:09:59,217 --> 00:10:01,335 That's enough wine for you tonight. 295 00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:02,649 Let's get you off to bed. 296 00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:04,804 And what about you in the duck boat? 297 00:10:04,923 --> 00:10:06,644 - You think you're so-- - That's your sister. 298 00:10:06,821 --> 00:10:07,929 Let's leave her out of this. 299 00:10:13,923 --> 00:10:15,254 I'm sorry! 300 00:10:15,444 --> 00:10:18,316 I didn't know the garlic bread still had plastic on it. 301 00:10:18,407 --> 00:10:18,926 That's okay. 302 00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:19,593 Not your fault. 303 00:10:19,742 --> 00:10:20,597 Nobody ever taught you. 304 00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:23,143 Why were you frying frozen garlic bread anyway, doofus? 305 00:10:23,234 --> 00:10:23,751 I don't know. 306 00:10:23,841 --> 00:10:24,551 Okay, Axl? 307 00:10:24,648 --> 00:10:25,766 I thought I saw mom do it once. 308 00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:28,268 I just miss mom so much. 309 00:10:28,397 --> 00:10:29,234 Okay. 310 00:10:29,355 --> 00:10:31,367 This may be controversial, but I'm just gonna say it. 311 00:10:31,473 --> 00:10:32,814 I like it better with mom not here. 312 00:10:33,603 --> 00:10:34,737 Axl, you take that back. 313 00:10:34,828 --> 00:10:35,959 You take that back right now! 314 00:10:36,055 --> 00:10:36,675 Unh-Unh. 315 00:10:36,775 --> 00:10:39,388 Dad, if you're willing to spring on extra postage, we can 316 00:10:39,475 --> 00:10:42,802 have the Mike ditka rib trio here by tomorrow at 5:00. 317 00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:44,819 I literally just need a credit card number. 318 00:10:47,012 --> 00:10:47,996 Hello? 319 00:10:48,121 --> 00:10:48,867 Hi. 320 00:10:48,986 --> 00:10:49,853 It's me. 321 00:10:49,951 --> 00:10:52,013 Hey, how are things going there? 322 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,188 Thought I might have heard from you earlier. 323 00:10:54,299 --> 00:10:54,800 Ugh. 324 00:10:54,899 --> 00:10:55,908 I just woke up. 325 00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:56,762 No, brick. 326 00:10:56,852 --> 00:10:57,795 We are not ordering from the catalog! 327 00:10:57,885 --> 00:11:00,085 I am going to make us food, and it's gonna be delicious, okay? 328 00:11:00,215 --> 00:11:00,726 Is that mom? 329 00:11:00,809 --> 00:11:01,493 Ask her about my hat. 330 00:11:02,657 --> 00:11:03,638 So how's it going there? 331 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:04,251 Good. 332 00:11:04,339 --> 00:11:04,837 Good. 333 00:11:04,941 --> 00:11:07,550 The kids are pretty much fixed, so you can come home whenever you want. 334 00:11:10,744 --> 00:11:12,365 So when are you heading home? 335 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,776 I'm not sure. 336 00:11:13,926 --> 00:11:15,376 What do you mean you're not sure? 337 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:19,848 Mike... I... 338 00:11:19,948 --> 00:11:21,130 I just need a minute. 339 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:21,897 A minute? 340 00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:23,193 You been gone 23 hours. 341 00:11:23,281 --> 00:11:24,382 That's a whole lot of minutes. 342 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,780 Listen, Frankie, the longer you stay away from this place, 343 00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:30,676 the harder it's gonna be to come back, so just get in the car and come home. 344 00:11:30,817 --> 00:11:33,093 I don't want you making the trip when it's dark by yourself. 345 00:11:33,227 --> 00:11:36,503 Mike, it's not just toenails. 346 00:11:36,687 --> 00:11:38,212 It's my whole life. 347 00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:40,557 I just need to re-evaluate. 348 00:11:40,815 --> 00:11:42,128 Okay. 349 00:11:42,403 --> 00:11:44,537 I'll call you tomorrow. 350 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,634 Was that mom? 351 00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:48,488 Is she on her way home? 352 00:11:48,588 --> 00:11:49,241 Not yet. 353 00:11:49,394 --> 00:11:51,083 Well, when is she coming home? 354 00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:52,302 I don't know. 355 00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:55,914 So, uh, what's going on between you two, you know, h-w-wise? 356 00:11:56,879 --> 00:11:57,584 Oh, my God. 357 00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,090 She's not coming home ever, is she? 358 00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:00,479 We blew it. 359 00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:03,047 Yeah, we had a mom, and we blew it. 360 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,098 Stop it, Sue. 361 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,102 Your mom's coming back. 362 00:12:05,198 --> 00:12:07,166 I just love mom so much! 363 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,371 I know at my age I'm not supposed to. 364 00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:12,303 All my friends complain about their moms, so I lie and tell 365 00:12:12,414 --> 00:12:14,483 'em I'm having troubles, too, but I don't. 366 00:12:14,597 --> 00:12:16,533 I love her more than ever! 367 00:12:18,044 --> 00:12:19,213 This is weird. 368 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,307 They won't deliver to Nevada. 369 00:12:21,418 --> 00:12:23,490 I mean, it's okay, 'cause we're not in Nevada, but... 370 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,738 What do you think they have against Nevada? 371 00:12:25,848 --> 00:12:27,284 You want to know what drove mom away? 372 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,579 It was you. 373 00:12:28,692 --> 00:12:31,021 You get obsessed with something no one else in the universe 374 00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:33,949 cares about, and then you go on and on and on about it, and mom 375 00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:35,665 probably couldn't take it anymore! 376 00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:36,646 So that's why she left. 377 00:12:36,762 --> 00:12:38,335 She left because of you! 378 00:12:38,676 --> 00:12:40,386 And I've only had my period for a month! 379 00:12:40,478 --> 00:12:41,676 I need my mom! 380 00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:46,562 Nice work, Sue. 381 00:12:48,284 --> 00:12:49,294 Where you going? 382 00:12:49,388 --> 00:12:50,752 I'm going to get your mom back. 383 00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:54,314 - Oh, dad, ask her-- - I'm not asking about the hat, Axl. 384 00:12:55,414 --> 00:12:56,408 Brick? 385 00:12:56,856 --> 00:12:57,827 Don't worry, Sue. 386 00:12:57,915 --> 00:13:00,245 You won't have to hear me go on and on anymore. 387 00:13:00,411 --> 00:13:01,824 I threw the catalog out. 388 00:13:01,987 --> 00:13:03,829 I'm lying. 389 00:13:04,047 --> 00:13:05,997 Brick, I didn't mean it. 390 00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:08,017 It's not your fault mom left. 391 00:13:08,124 --> 00:13:09,265 No, you're right. 392 00:13:09,381 --> 00:13:10,302 I drone. 393 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:14,077 And mom's always pretending she's interested, not like dad. 394 00:13:14,189 --> 00:13:15,581 It was probably my fault. 395 00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,810 I'm the one who used her shower yesterday. 396 00:13:17,935 --> 00:13:19,965 That could have tipped her over the edge. 397 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:22,625 But that's only 'cause Axl was hogging up our bathroom. 398 00:13:22,749 --> 00:13:24,481 You're right. 399 00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:28,408 And let's not forget they were Axl's toenails mom ate. 400 00:13:29,888 --> 00:13:30,751 Axl! 401 00:13:30,849 --> 00:13:31,636 It was you. 402 00:13:31,729 --> 00:13:33,284 It's all your fault mom left. 403 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,774 You're selfish and you're snarky and you only think of yourself, 404 00:13:35,862 --> 00:13:37,485 and mom was probably sick of it. 405 00:13:37,602 --> 00:13:39,245 Well, you're an embarrassing dork-cheese. 406 00:13:39,354 --> 00:13:40,963 You think mom wants to be associated with that? 407 00:13:41,094 --> 00:13:44,010 You never empty the dishwasher, no matter how many times mom asks! 408 00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:45,540 That's because you never put the dishes in it like you're 409 00:13:45,634 --> 00:13:48,747 supposed to, and besides, you don't do the laundry like she asks! 410 00:13:48,839 --> 00:13:50,126 I don't know how to work it! 411 00:13:50,241 --> 00:13:51,383 Don't pick on Sue. 412 00:13:51,741 --> 00:13:52,778 You never take out the garbage. 413 00:13:52,895 --> 00:13:53,958 Well, you don't do any chores. 414 00:13:54,047 --> 00:13:55,374 You're always just freakishly reading. 415 00:13:55,475 --> 00:13:58,705 That's true, brick, and you wander off at the mall and 416 00:13:58,822 --> 00:14:00,493 scare mom half to death! 417 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,824 Well, at least I don't have braces that are costing mom millions of dollars. 418 00:14:03,931 --> 00:14:05,625 I have an overbite crossbite! 419 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:08,090 You don't tell mom you have a school assignment until the night before! 420 00:14:08,194 --> 00:14:10,186 You don't fill up the ice cube tray! 421 00:14:10,287 --> 00:14:12,170 You lick things that aren't food! 422 00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:13,417 You don't tell mom you love her! 423 00:14:13,506 --> 00:14:14,483 None of us do that! 424 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,765 Maybe it's all of our fault. 425 00:14:19,132 --> 00:14:20,414 Oh, God. 426 00:14:20,719 --> 00:14:21,808 Brick's right. 427 00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:23,808 We do need to make major changes. 428 00:14:24,743 --> 00:14:26,110 Yeah, but what? 429 00:14:29,883 --> 00:14:32,273 Maybe we could pick up our dirty clothes off the floor. 430 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:35,475 Yeah, and like, put 'em in the laundry or something? 431 00:14:35,566 --> 00:14:36,738 I know mom hates to dust. 432 00:14:36,846 --> 00:14:38,836 If we dusted out, that would probably make her really happy. 433 00:14:38,941 --> 00:14:40,260 We could even clean our bathroom. 434 00:14:40,374 --> 00:14:41,243 Yeah. 435 00:14:44,391 --> 00:14:48,274 On the other hand, what if dirty clothes isn't her problem? 436 00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:49,296 What do you mean? 437 00:14:49,385 --> 00:14:52,112 Like, what if we did the laundry, and that's not what's bothering her? 438 00:14:52,219 --> 00:14:53,379 That's true. 439 00:14:53,499 --> 00:14:55,158 We don't want to do extra stuff. 440 00:14:55,264 --> 00:14:57,835 Yeah, or we don't clean the bathroom the way she likes? 441 00:14:57,929 --> 00:14:59,357 That could really set her off. 442 00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:01,365 And we know she's already unstable. 443 00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:03,501 It could cause her to take off again. 444 00:15:03,595 --> 00:15:05,825 Look, if she really wanted us to make changes, she should 445 00:15:05,925 --> 00:15:07,354 have told us what they were. 446 00:15:07,485 --> 00:15:08,980 We're not mind readers. 447 00:15:09,085 --> 00:15:09,808 Yeah. 448 00:15:09,931 --> 00:15:12,138 When you think about it, it's sort of her fault. 449 00:15:12,254 --> 00:15:14,155 So it's decided? 450 00:15:14,256 --> 00:15:15,388 We do nothing? 451 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:16,680 Yep. 452 00:15:16,773 --> 00:15:18,104 It's the only thing we can do. 453 00:15:20,868 --> 00:15:21,800 Oh. 454 00:15:21,917 --> 00:15:23,431 You're still in my pajamas. 455 00:15:23,684 --> 00:15:25,818 It's okay if I stay another day, right? 456 00:15:25,928 --> 00:15:26,993 Of course, honey. 457 00:15:27,087 --> 00:15:29,434 You are welcome to stay as long as you need to. 458 00:15:30,446 --> 00:15:32,565 But I do have bridge club on Tuesday. 459 00:15:32,663 --> 00:15:33,946 Thanks, mom. 460 00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:36,854 I just don't think I'm ready to go home yet. 461 00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:38,944 Mmm. 462 00:15:42,163 --> 00:15:48,193 Frankie... you don't really think your life is so bad, do you? 463 00:15:48,286 --> 00:15:49,274 No. 464 00:15:49,361 --> 00:15:50,661 It's good. 465 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:56,108 I know I should be grateful-- Good husband, healthy kids, blah, blah, blah. 466 00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:59,710 'Cause I know Pam Staggs seems like she has it all, 467 00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:02,872 but no one has it perfect, Frankie. 468 00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:06,990 Every mom has that moment where she wants to get in the car, 469 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,234 drive to Kentucky, check into the holiday inn with a bottle 470 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:13,062 of peppermint schnapps, and watch all the "smokey and the 471 00:16:13,161 --> 00:16:14,820 bandits" in one night. 472 00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,178 Mom. 473 00:16:17,487 --> 00:16:18,652 Really? 474 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:19,947 And you know what? 475 00:16:20,056 --> 00:16:23,032 Halfway through "smokey 3," I got sick of Burt Reynolds, I 476 00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:27,402 missed my family, and I knew it was time to go home. 477 00:16:29,984 --> 00:16:31,684 Oh, honey. 478 00:16:32,903 --> 00:16:36,991 It's just hard, 'cause right now you're in the middle of it, but 479 00:16:37,094 --> 00:16:39,894 if I could go back in time, you know what I would do? 480 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:40,830 What? 481 00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:43,436 I'd sniff the back of your little neck. 482 00:16:44,506 --> 00:16:47,549 You always had the sweetest smelling little neck. 483 00:16:47,783 --> 00:16:52,092 I don't think I spent nearly enough time smelling the back of your neck. 484 00:16:52,797 --> 00:16:54,550 But then I'd get the hell out of there. 485 00:16:54,705 --> 00:16:55,567 Mom. 486 00:16:55,651 --> 00:16:56,743 Well, it's true. 487 00:16:56,864 --> 00:16:58,556 Raising kids is hard. 488 00:16:58,695 --> 00:17:01,156 Look, Frankie, here's the deal. 489 00:17:01,239 --> 00:17:04,004 You're gonna have lots of toenail moments-- lots and 490 00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:07,769 lots of 'em-- but you're gonna end up having more good moments 491 00:17:07,890 --> 00:17:10,872 than toenail moments, I promise you. 492 00:17:10,969 --> 00:17:11,966 Okay. 493 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:15,368 And your kids are gonna grow up, and your life is gonna get 494 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:18,462 easier, and they're only gonna come and stay with you and 495 00:17:18,548 --> 00:17:21,516 bother you just once every so often. 496 00:17:25,939 --> 00:17:27,272 Oh, God. 497 00:17:27,351 --> 00:17:29,278 Honey, you got to take a shower. 498 00:17:29,406 --> 00:17:30,578 Sorry. 499 00:17:33,697 --> 00:17:35,800 Oh, look who's here. 500 00:17:35,884 --> 00:17:40,275 Your knight in shining armour has come all this way to get you. 501 00:17:40,368 --> 00:17:42,021 Really? 502 00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:48,110 Oh, well. 503 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:52,579 Are you kidding me? 504 00:17:52,786 --> 00:17:54,086 You honk? 505 00:17:54,714 --> 00:17:58,015 You won't even get out of your car to come to the door and get me? 506 00:17:58,107 --> 00:18:00,289 I drove 120 miles! 507 00:18:01,234 --> 00:18:03,377 Now go grab your baggie and get in the car. 508 00:18:03,557 --> 00:18:05,172 You haven't been through it, Mike. 509 00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:07,557 You're a non-toenail-eater. 510 00:18:07,703 --> 00:18:10,756 You think other people don't go through stuff like that? 511 00:18:10,868 --> 00:18:16,941 When I lent Axl my car for prom, the next day, I sat in his friend's vomit! 512 00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:18,774 I didn't even tell you about that! 513 00:18:18,945 --> 00:18:21,573 But did I freak out and leave my family? 514 00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:22,251 No. 515 00:18:22,356 --> 00:18:24,469 I hosed it down and got on with my life. 516 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,836 'Cause that's what you do, Frankie. 517 00:18:25,922 --> 00:18:27,246 You power through. 518 00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:30,138 I just need a minute to think. 519 00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:31,209 No! 520 00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:32,275 No more time to think. 521 00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:34,428 You start to think and the whole thing unravels. 522 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,351 Get in the car! 523 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:36,015 See? 524 00:18:36,097 --> 00:18:37,023 This is my life. 525 00:18:37,113 --> 00:18:39,122 My husband won't even come to the door to get me. 526 00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:41,881 I bet Pam Staggs' husband wouldn't honk. 527 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:46,117 - Pam Staggs' husband would come to the door and he-- - Oh, my God! 528 00:18:46,204 --> 00:18:47,898 Are you still talking about Pam Staggs? 529 00:18:47,988 --> 00:18:49,855 Who cares about Pam Staggs? 530 00:18:50,778 --> 00:18:53,567 You're a thousand times prettier than she is! 531 00:18:54,638 --> 00:18:56,121 I'll get my stuff. 532 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:01,345 Yeah? 533 00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:03,562 Okay. 534 00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:06,038 Sweet! 535 00:19:06,385 --> 00:19:06,865 Yeah! 536 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:07,732 That was dad. 537 00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:09,417 He and mom and my hat are on their way home. 538 00:19:16,705 --> 00:19:17,757 Oh, my God. 539 00:19:17,849 --> 00:19:19,719 What major changes can we make in 30 minutes? 540 00:19:19,876 --> 00:19:21,112 I'll get the clothes. 541 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,436 I'll do the dishes. 542 00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:25,776 If mom comes home and sees this, she's gonna leave again! 543 00:19:25,943 --> 00:19:27,279 I don't know where any of this goes! 544 00:19:27,372 --> 00:19:28,073 Here, brick. 545 00:19:28,155 --> 00:19:29,387 If you don't know here it goes, throw it in the backyard. 546 00:19:29,474 --> 00:19:30,595 What is this? 547 00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:31,787 Another catalog? 548 00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:32,965 Brick! 549 00:19:41,243 --> 00:19:42,647 Wow! 550 00:19:43,294 --> 00:19:45,057 Look at this place. 551 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,017 Mom, we are so sorry. 552 00:19:47,125 --> 00:19:48,489 We missed you so much. 553 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,106 Sue made a terrible mom. 554 00:19:50,193 --> 00:19:51,357 Thank God you're back. 555 00:19:52,695 --> 00:19:54,800 I'll never take you for granted again. 556 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:55,950 Wow. 557 00:19:56,058 --> 00:19:59,494 I mean, is this my house or the Fairfield Suites? 558 00:20:00,335 --> 00:20:05,397 Ohh, you guys must have worked really hard to get it looking like this. 559 00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:06,916 I'm proud of you kids. 560 00:20:12,887 --> 00:20:14,997 Very, very proud. 561 00:20:18,381 --> 00:20:20,377 After that night, there were changes. 562 00:20:21,572 --> 00:20:25,183 Oh, not major changes, but minor ones. 563 00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:30,577 Mom. 564 00:20:30,674 --> 00:20:34,013 I just want you to know, I took my shower early so I wouldn't bother you. 565 00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:36,967 Oh, and this fell off. 566 00:20:41,038 --> 00:20:43,722 So if we order two of the floating beverage book holders, 567 00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:45,348 they're actually cheaper. 568 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:47,601 It's a catalog called Hammacher Schlemmer. 569 00:20:47,739 --> 00:20:50,130 Hammacher Schlemmer. 570 00:20:50,285 --> 00:20:54,159 But that's okay, 'cause apparently, I'm gonna miss all this crap one day. 571 00:21:00,987 --> 00:21:02,000 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 572 00:21:02,050 --> 00:21:06,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0